Dancing Echoes

Beats Stumbling Around in Silence

Vanishing

21 Comments

Vanishing
Each day
Little by little
Memories evanesce into darkness
Alzheimer’s

Who knows when the fog descended, your intelligence
It hid your secret, until you were at the point of no return
 
But the storm of your last six weeks could not deny the plaques and tangles,
The snarled mat of mind disintegration, consuming consciousness
 
I was the one had to take your car keys, the doctors would not help
I was the one that had to hide your guns, the police would not help
 
Their fear of lawsuit left them impotent
So each day I would check on you, alone
 
Not knowing if the wind would be coming out of the north or south.
Not knowing what lay behind the closed door in the darkened room
 
Then came the day that would last forever, what would be the eye of this storm.
Your relentless desperation for a gun, wanting to die in your own bed next to Mom
 
Then with your wife safely hidden away in the sanctuary of a friend
We began our unholy race, knowing we would all lose in the end
 
So I was forced to choose; there was no solace here,
Standing on the abyss of unfathomable emotions
 
The twist of fate, the parent-child relationship spun on its head
Protecting you from yourself, Mom from your delusions
 
Oh Freud would have a field day with this
Your id isolated and locked away in all its destructive glory
 
At first you would not talk to me, volcanic eruptions of anger,
Then you held my hand, conspiring like two naughty children
 
“Let me out please, I will behave”
“I will say anything I have to, let me go home”
 
The last time I fed you sweet, cool ice cream, your eyes shined
But inside you were wasting, wasting, wasting away
 
Sinew-shrunk; just skin, bones and confusion
Fear and suffering your companion until your final
 
 
Breath

In response to Patrick Jennings Pic and a Word Challenge #172: Vanishing

Author: Dancing Echoes

I am a scientist by trade and artist by soul. My creative outlet used to be dancing but due to injuries and age, I must now find another path. I am hoping my writing, poetry and photography can be this new path. Awards: While I am grateful and honored for the numerous nominations, I don’t have time to respond to them with the attention they deserve, so for the most part, I am an award free blog. All photographs and words are mine unless otherwise credited. © 2015-2019 Dancing Echoes ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Christy Draper with appropriate and specific direction to the original content on Dancing Echoes.

21 thoughts on “Vanishing

  1. Your have written this poem with a delicate touch of affection. I walked with you through every step of your experience, sentence by sentence. Thank you for sharing your open heart.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I was the one who had to take my father’s keys too. Twenty years ago. Nothing was ever the same.
    Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. so sad and beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you Hélène. It was a painful part of my life. Many people are going through something similar and I want them to know they aren’t alone.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Car keys are their symbol of freedom. You’re right, once you take that away everything shifts.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I did appreciate it as I took care of my husband at home for three years while he had dementia, finally the doctor did take his car keys away. Eventually I had no more options to keep him home and the pain of him now being a nursing home is felt everyday. Though I visit often, it rips my heart each time I leave him.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Reblogged this on On My Feet and commented:
    Powerful and achingly written…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I am so sorry Hélène. Hugs to you and him.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you Grove. It was hard to post. I actually started it four years ago and couldn’t finish it. I accidentally came across it yesterday and decided to finish and post.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thank you and to you too, your were very courageous to do all you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m glad you did.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences and your gifts.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh so heart-wrenching. And loving.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Fences ~ Pic and a Word Challenge #173 – Pix to Words

  14. Poignant, beautiful, heartbreaking. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hey,

    I’m working on my debut poetry book and preparing a mailing list. Would you like me to add your e-mail address please? If so, can you share it with me?

    I don’t plan to do hard-core promotion, I will be e-mailing you privately not through any software.

    I will just inform you when it’s available and when there is some huge fluctuation in price (sale etc.), as on WordPress reader, posts get lost in stampede.

    I won’t be mailing you more than 4 to 5 times a year, and that’s max. Promise!

    And if you want it to share it privately you can do that through contact form on my blog.

    Thank you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sure: Christy.draper@gmail.com. Congratulations and best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

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