Dancing Echoes

Beats Stumbling Around in Silence

Bad Ass Superwoman

19 Comments

When I met my now second husband “D”, I was close to fifty and had never had kids of my own. My first husband and I met at age fifteen and we spent twenty-one years together. Post divorce, I spent the next fifteen years as a serial monogamist but decidedly single. I had never had the “Mom Bomb” go off and for years I fought the prejudice that goes with the childless choice. I love kids but never felt compelled to have my own. Anyway, I was divorced at thirty-six and most guys I met in the combat trenches of the dating years had kids, so by the time I was forty-seven I was used to the family package situation. D had three kids. To be specific, he had three teenagers. Well, soon to all be teenagers and I was about to get a lesson in trial by fire (yet another story for another time). The oldest daughter was sixteen, the “Irish Twin” brother was fifteen and the youngest boy was twelve going on thirty. D and I had dated for a little while before I met his kids because he was not interested in having me meet his kids until he knew me well enough to trust me around them. Not personally experiencing a parental divorce (I had the dubious honor of being the first in my family to get divorced) I figured they had already been through a lot and I respected this rule. I thought it quite sweet because a man that protects his kids is a good man. Not to mention that we had both dated our share of wackadoodles and we were both exercising a wackadoodle buffer period policy.

Not "D"

Not “D”

Over the years of dating men with children I developed a mantra about being a “girlfriend”, “significant other” and “stepmom” to kids. It goes like this: “I don’t care if you like me, I don’t care if you love me, I love your Father and so I love you unconditionally as a package deal. I don’t expect anything in return. You can ask me anything and I will answer honestly and appropriately. I will ask you questions because I want to get to know you better but you do not have to answer any of my questions unless you are comfortable answering them.” Note: this does not mean I am a pushover but I will always be the adult in any given situation. So now that I’ve given my “stepmom mantra”, understand that I am not beyond taking complete advantage of any “Superwoman” situation when it presents itself. On this particular occasion I was over at D’s house for the first time. This was only the second time I had met his kids, the first being in a public forum. D and I were fixing dinner and the three kids were at the kitchen table chatting and getting to know me better. I walked closer to the table so that I had eye contact with sixteen. I was talking and out of the corner of my eye I saw a fly buzz by my head. Without missing a beat or losing eye contact with sixteen, I reached out and snatched that fly right out of the air. I knew I’d caught the fly because I felt it wriggling against the palm of my hand.

No "Fly by Night"

No “Fly by Night”

My eyes stayed locked on the kids, my face fit for a poker game. I watched their eyes get round and their jaws slowly drop open. I just kept talking as if nothing happened, but the underlying vibe was “Yeah, I’m a Bad Ass Superwoman so you better watch your step ’cause I have lightning reflexes.” I nonchalantly opened the back kitchen door and escorted the fly out, all the while still maintaining eye contact and talking with the kids. Of course on the inside I was going, “Whaaat da fuuuck?”, but they’ll never know that. As this incident perpetuates as a family legend, I want them to always think I’m that Bad Ass Superwoman with lightening reflexes.

And for my next act I’ll be catching a bullet with my teeth.

Have you ever done anything so crazy you even amazed yourself? Has anything you’ve done become a family legend?

Photos by  Pixabay: Crazy Eyes, Mouche

Author: Dancing Echoes

I am a scientist by trade and artist by soul. My creative outlet used to be dancing but due to injuries and age, I must now find another path. I am hoping my writing, poetry and photography can be this new path. Awards: While I am grateful and honored for the numerous nominations, I don’t have time to respond to them with the attention they deserve, so for the most part, I am an award free blog. All photographs and words are mine unless otherwise credited. © 2015-2016 Dancing Echoes ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author/owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Christy Draper with appropriate and specific direction to the original content on Dancing Echoes.

19 thoughts on “Bad Ass Superwoman

  1. This is soooo awesome! Jealous of your “Badass Superwoman with lightening reflexes” skills! Super cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It was a complete accident. No one was more surprised than myself!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. What makes you bad ass is not so much pulling off that fluke with the fly so much as having the presence of mind to milk it for all it was worth a split second later…THAT was no fluke! You should be cloned. Love Red

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think a few folks would disagree about the clone part. One of me is quite enough, thanks.

    Like

  5. I dunno, hot, post 50, brainiac, writer with snark to spare and the reflexes of a cat…seems clone-worthy to me.

    And loving my introduction to the world of Haiku, just quietly.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Only if they can get some of my work done…..

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ah ha! So you agree, there are good reasons to start the experiments then?!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. As a scientist, I am always down for experiments.

    Like

  9. Outstanding! Let the research begin! Probably make for great blog fodder too.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Let’s not tell the husband. It would be fun to keep him guessing.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh that would call for more than a clipboard and a few smoking beakers, you’d definitely need cctv discreetly located around the place for THAT!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Holy Shite, is all I can say… or uneffiing-believable! as I’ll bet 16 wanted to say! 8)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” What a great story—thanks for sharing it. Ω

    Liked by 1 person

  14. love it! I really love the fact you told us the real skinny 😉 (We got off early today hence me reading blog posts in the middle of the afternoon). DM

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Well thank you and thank you for spending your free time reading my blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Serial Monogamist huh. I was accused of that once a number of years ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Of course my serial timeframe sometimes only lasted 24 hours 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Been there, done that and along with making the t-shirts others buy I wrote this.

    https://transitionu.wordpress.com/2015/06/17/one-night/

    Liked by 1 person

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